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The Justice Department of Aotearoa New Zealand describes Domestic Violence as “An abuse of Human Rights”. They go on to describe what domestic violence is as:
Nobody – including a husband, wife, partner or an adult who looks after children, is allowed to hit, punch, kick or in any way assault another person.
Nobody is allowed to have any sexual contact with another person without that person’s permission.
Can include intimidation, threats and harassment. Some examples of psychological abuse could include damaging property, allowing children to see or hear any domestic violence, controlling someone’s contact with friends as a way of having power over him or her.
(The Family Court, “Domestic Violence, Information on Protection Orders and the Domestic Violence Act” Brochure).
In the 1980s various women’s support groups at the Duluth Violence Intervention Project developed a model called the Power and Control Wheel. This was made up from stories that women were telling over and over again of the abuse that was going on in their homes.
Does your partner or did your partner...
If you have answered "yes" to some of these questions you may be feeling shocked, angry or frightened about what this means for you.
You may also feel a sense of relief.
(Extract from "Invisible Wounds" by Kay Douglas).
If you are living in fear, having to watch your back, check every word you say, report on everything you do, you are not safe.
In a safe environment your physical safety is assured
In a safe relationship you are respected and valued.
In a safe relationship you are free to say no to sex without having this used against you
In a safe relationship your opinions and thoughts are respected
In a safe relationship you have equal access to and control over financial matters
In a safe environment your spiritual beliefs are respected
In a safe relationship you choose your friends and meet with them freely.